Frequently Asked Questions


what about confidentiality?

Every UDM session is 100% confidential. Every participant signs a mutual non-disclosure agreement to protect both of our rights. The sessions can be recorded by video with your consent. All data collected is used for research purposes only. Any publication of UDM research findings will never disclose any identifying qualities such as your name, age or location. You may request to be notified prior to publication, so you feel completely protected.

What are some examples of decisions that UDM can help us make?

  • "We want to move - but can't agree on where."
  • "We want to be mortgage free, and we know what we have to do financially - but we can't agree on how to rearrange our life to achieve this goal."
  • "We want to get married - but we can't agree on whether or not we want a wedding."
  • "We want to have a baby and buy a house - but we can't agree on which comes first."
  • "One of us just got a job offer on the other side of the world - but we can't decide if it's the right thing to do."

These are just some of the decisions that UDM has been used to make.

Are there any decisions that UDM can't help with?

Absolutely. Every situation is different, and every couple is unique, so there are no hard and fast rules. Generally speaking back and white situations cannot be resolved with UDM. UDM cannot be used to win an argument. UDM doesn't work if one person has already made up their mind on what needs to be done. If you're not sure whether or not UDM will work, book a FREE 30 minute introduction, and we can figure out if UDM will work for you.

where does udm come from?

UDM is a multi-criterion decision making model (Wikipedia) that is commonly used in business management. I deviate from the business school model by incorporating sociocratic (Wikipedia) principles of equality and mutual consent.  My facilitation approach is based on active listening, empathy, compassion and non-judgment.

Are you a licensed therapist?

No, I am not a licensed therapist. I am not claiming to provide any form of emotional or psycho therapy. If any signs of abuse are revealed through our sessions (i.e. verbal, physical, lying, cheating, etc.) , I will recommend that you contact a local licensed therapist or physician. In these rare situations, a full refund will be provided.

Can I use UDM by myself?

The basic premise of a unified decision is that there are 2+ people to unify. If you are trying to make a decision on your own, try working with a life coach, who can help you one-on-one.

Can LGBTQ or poly-amorous couples use UDM?

Definitely. I highly encourage LGBTQ and poly-amorous couples to use UDM in their relationships. I try to write all UDM materials without discriminating based on gender identity. UDM also scales very well for relationships with 2+ people. Please book a FREE 30 minute intro, and we can design a workshop series that works for you.